aim is a funny, funny thing
by onesieandacalendar
Summary: The staff of SGH's interactions over AIM, one couple gets accidently set up and much more. Sorta Addison-centric, but all characters apply. ADDEX, McStizzie, Mer-Der and many, many others. Summarys confusing, READ INSIDE! R
1. Chapter 1

**So im not exactly sure how I came up with this. I started thinking about how Derek should care that Addison was alone and then I came up with the idea of him giving her screen name to someone, but then I thought it would be better if it was on accident and somehow Meredith came in because I love the idea of her and Addison as friends but then when I started writing I thought of all these funny conversations for other characters so it was no longer only Addex…and somewhere along the way this fic was born. It was incredibly fun to write and im not exactly sure how long it's going to be, but whatever.**

**Hope you enjoy this as much as I do.**

**Please leave me a review saying if you like it or not, it took me like forever to write this chapter for whatever reason so it means a lot.**

**Disclaimer- No, *shakes head* I own nothing.**

**P.S. The first paragraph is like regular writing, or whatever you want to call it, but I'm pretty sure it's the only part that won't be purely I.M. form.**

**OH and I hope the screen names are alright, it took me FOREVER to come up with them. You should be able to figure out most of them but just to make sure I'll add the ones that I suppose could be questionable.**

**Ilovewomen- Mark**

**Bloodiscandy- Cristina**

**xxlovestequila- Meredith**

**Blondedoctor1- Izzie**

**MANLYMAN- George**

* * *

"I'm worried about Alex."

Derek looked up at Meredith and smiled.

"It's cute that you worry."

"Oh my god! I just had the most perfect idea…"

A huge grin grew on her face and he started to get a little scared.

"You don't happen to have any girls screen names that I could give to Alex... do you?"

He smiled, "Actually, I do. Forth one down is my friend Liz, from all the way back to grade school actually. She moved out here a few years ago, she totally goes for Alex's type."

She cheered like a little girl and Derek burst out laughing, I mean come on, she looked hilarious.

She ran over to the computer and copied down the forth screen name on his buddy list. _Fieryredheadx_

What neither of them know is that Liz is really the _third_ one down, and that Addison is actually the forth.

* * *

_**Later**_

Chicksarecrazy: Hi.

Fieryredheadx: ?

Chicksarecrazy: Who is this?

Fieryredheadx: Um, last time I checked, you're the one who me…

Chicksarecrazy: Well my friend gave me your screen name.

Fieryredheadx: Oh, really. And what friend would this be?

Chicksarecrazy: Can't tell you.

Chicksarecrazy: Sorry (:

Fieryredheadx: Ahh, well. Just to be clear, are you some 60 year old man who's secretly plotting to rape me?

Chicksarecrazy: Nope.

Fieryredheadx: Oh, well, that's good…I guess?

Chicksarecrazy: g2g

Fieryredheadx: bye.

_Chicksarecrazy has signed off._

* * *

Ilovewomen: Hey sexy.

Fieryredheadx: eh…

Ilovewomen: Oh, you can't live without me, don't deny it.

Fieryredheadx: *stares*

Ilovewomen: sex?

Fieryredheadx: please.

Ilovewomen: I'll be there in 2 minutes.

Fieryredheadx: (:

_Auto response from Ilovewomen: about to go do what I do best! (;_

Fieryredheadx: *rolls eyes.*

_Fieryredheadx has signed off._

* * *

Bloodiscandy: Look at McSteamy's away message.

xxlovestequila: Who's he banging?

Bloodiscandy: Probably Satan...

xxlovestequila: True.

Bloodiscandy: Lucky Bitch…

* * *

CallieO'Malley: So, how was the sex?

Fieryredheadx: What? How did you…eh, nvm.

CallieO'Malley: *evil laugh* Oh, I have my ways.

Fieryredheadx: God, your SUCH a stalker.

_MANLYMAN has joined the chat._

Fieryredheadx: Who the hell is 'manlyman'

CallieO'Malley: GEORGE!

MANLYMAN: hey babe (:

Fieryredheadx: Ew, I think I'm about to throw up. I am_ so_ leaving.

CallieO'Malley: No! Addison! Wait!

_Fieryredheadx has left the room._

CallieO'Malley: Damnit!

MANLYMAN: What?

CallieO'Malley: I wanted to hear about the sex!

* * *

Blondedoctor1: HEY!

Chicksarecrazy: Hey, iz.

Blondedoctor1: No, no, no. That wasn't a 'Hey what's up!' hey, it was a 'hey, I'm going to kick your ass' hey.

Chicksarecrazy: um?

Blondedoctor1: YOU'RE SCREEN NAME, DUMB ASS!

Chicksarecrazy: Ohhhh, right.

Blondedoctor1: UGH!

_Blondedoctor1 has signed off._

* * *

HAHAHAHA. Its short, I know, kind of like a little teaser of what this story will be like. I love this so much. Hope you do too! Please leave me sweet little reviews(: Or mean ones, honestly I don't mind(;


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad you all liked it. (: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Please continue to, it'll make me extremely happy.**

**I don't know if I ever mentioned it—but this story is somewhere like post addex bar kiss pre addex sex. So 3x13 to like 3x20? Yeah, I don't know, somewhere in there.**

**Disclaimer- stilllll don't own anything.**

* * *

_Chapter 2_

Chicksarecrazy: Its 4 a.m.

Fieryredheadx: And?

Chicksarecrazy: And you're _up_!?

Fieryredheadx: Well, you are too, right?

Chicksarecrazy: Yeah but I have to go to work.

Fieryredheadx: Yeah, well so do I.

Chicksarecrazy: Talk to you later?

Fieryredheadx: Yeah.

_Chicksarecrazy has signed off._

_Fieryredheadx has signed off._

* * *

xxlovestequila: How's mystery girl?

Chicksarecrazy: Fine, I guess.

_Blondedoctor1 has entered._

Blondedoctor1: Hey guys what are we talking about?

xxlovestequila: Alex's secret internet love.

Blondedoctor1: I have a better topic.

xxlovestequila: ??

Chicksarecrazy: …..

Blondedoctor1: Let's talk about how yesterday I caught Alex starring at a certain red head with hot legs and _very_ sexy glasses.

xxlovestequila: Alex! :o!

Chicksarecrazy: You guys are crazy.

Chicksarecrazy See Iz, my screen name really is true!

Blondedoctor1: Whatever…

* * *

xxlovestequila: Hey stranger.

Thingforferryboats: Hey.

xxlovestequila: I don't want to go to work.

Thingforferryboats: You love work.

xxlovestequila: I hate work.

Thingforferryboats: I'll let you scrub in.

xxlovestequila: Oh, right, and in return?

Thingforferryboats: …..

xxlovestequila: I already told you! _No_ sex.

Thingforferryboats: Fine…

* * *

_Lunch_

Chicksarecrazy: I thought you had work.

Fieryredheadx: I thought _you _had work.

Chicksarecrazy: I'm supposed to be researching.

Fieryredheadx: Ah, well, have fun with that.

Chicksarecrazy: I better go, if my boss catches me she'll freak.

Fieryredheadx: Kay, bye.

Chicksarecrazy: bye.

* * *

_That night_

Ilovewomen: You know, you should really change your screen name to 'Hot doctor' Or 'Hot blonde'.

Blondedoctor1: And you're talking to me….why?

Ilovewomen: ooh, feisty, I like it.

Blondedoctor1: Goodbye, Doctor Sloane.

Ilovewomen: Goodbye Doctor Hottie…

Blondedoctor1: *barfs*

_Blondedoctor1 has signed off._

* * *

Blondedoctor1: George.

MANLYMAN: Izzie.

Blondedoctor1: I just blocked Doctor Sloane.

MANLYMAN: Why?

Blondedoctor1: Sexual Harassment.

MANLYMAN: oh?

Blondedoctor1: How's_ Callie_?

MANLYMAN: Sitting right next to me, reading over my shoulder and now glaring at the computer screen.

Blondedoctor1: Oh, shit well I'm gonna go now!

Blondedoctor1: Bye George!

_Blondedoctor1 has signed off._

* * *

**Ah, well I couldn't get rid of Mark, that's just not an option and I promised this fic would be Addex, so I'm thinking McStizzie may be forming a relationship in this fic… I don't know… what do you think? Reviews please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to all the reviewers! This chapter is a lot longer, hope you enjoy it, please let me know if you do or don't.**

**Oh, and someone mentioned that this was 'a breather after reading angst-filled chapters'. I'm glad you pointed that out, because that's exactly why I wrote this! I needed a break after writing my other stories.**

**Disclaimer- Still don't own.**

* * *

Bloodiscandy: What's up with Alex?

xxlovestequila: What do you mean?

Bloodiscandy: He's acting weird.

xxlovestequila: He is?

Bloodiscandy: What do you know…?

xxlovestequila: Nothing.

Bloodiscandy: Meredith.

xxlovestequila: I gotta go, I'm going shopping with Derek.

Bloodiscandy: Shopping? Seriously? With Derek? Seriously?

xxlovestequila: Goodbye, Cristina.

* * *

Ilovewomen: Dude, you're so whipped.

Thingforferryboats: Huh?

Ilovewomen: Auto response from xxlovestequila: Shopping with Derek, bye.

Ilovewomen: Shopping, Derek. Seriously?

Ilovewomen: And since when does Meredith shop?

Thingforferryboats: Shut up.

Ilovewomen: *cough* whipped.

Thingforferryboats: Wait, why am I even talking to you?

Ilovewomen: You love me.

Thingforferryboats: I hate you.

Ilovewomen: Whatever you say.

* * *

_Fieryredheadx has signed on._

Chicksarecrazy: Why hello there.

Fieryredheadx: Okay, really, do you like sit at the computer all day waiting for me to come on.

Chicksarecrazy: Yes, actually.

Fieryredheadx: Wow, I've never actually had someone admit to me that they're a stalker.

Chicksarecrazy: Well, I guess there's a first for everything.

Fieryredheadx: I guess so.

Chicksarecrazy: I don't know your name.

Fieryredheadx: This is true.

Chicksarecrazy: Can I know your name?

Fieryredheadx: Nope.

Chicksarecrazy: Why?

Fieryredheadx: Because, I'm not so sure I should tell you.

Chicksarecrazy: Fine.

Fieryredheadx: Okay.

Chicksarecrazy: Can I at least know what your job is?

Fieryredheadx: Eh, fine. Doctor.

Chicksarecrazy: Really?

Fieryredheadx: No I'm lying.

Fieryredheadx: _Yes_, really.

Chicksarecrazy: Me too.

Fieryredheadx: You're a doctor?

Chicksarecrazy: Yep.

Fieryredheadx: Can I ask what kind?

Chicksarecrazy: No.

Fieryredheadx: What! Why.

Chicksarecrazy: You won't tell me your name; I won't tell you what kind of doctor I am.

Fieryredheadx: You're impossible.

Chicksarecrazy: As are you.

Fieryredheadx: Eh. I'm leaving now.

Fieryredheadx: Goodbye _Doctor._

_Fieryredheadx has signed off._

* * *

Ilovewomen: Hi.

Blondedoctor1: I thought I told you that I didn't want to talk to you?

Ilovewomen: I thought I told you to change your screen name.

Blondedoctor1: You're disgusting. How can you live with yourself?

Blondedoctor1: I'm leaving now.

Ilovewomen: No, Izzie, wait.

Blondedoctor1: Izzie? It's 'Izzie' now?

Ilovewomen: I'm not as bad as you think.

Blondedoctor1: Yeah, well, we'll see about that. But for now, I'm leaving.

Ilovewomen: Can I talk to you later?

Blondedoctor1: Maybe.

* * *

Fieryredheadx: I have a stalker.

CallieO'Malley: You have a stalker.

Fieryredheadx: No, I'm serious.

CallieO'Malley: Okay, sorry, go on.

Fieryredheadx: Seriously, Cal, did you give my screen name to anyone?

CallieO'Malley: No.

Fieryredheadx: Cal…

CallieO'Malley: I swear!

Fieryredheadx: Okay, okay.

CallieO'Malley: Is he hot?

Fieryredheadx: How would I know that!?

CallieO'Malley: Does he seem hot?

Fieryredheadx: I don't know? Kind of, I guess.

CallieO'Malley: Then stop complaining!

Fieryredheadx: Okay.

CallieO'Malley: Okay.

Fieryredheadx: You know, in a few days when you find out that I was murdered in my hotel room by the creepy internet stalker, you're gonna feel pretty damn bad.

CallieO'Malley: Okay, really Addison.

Fieryredheadx: Fine, I'll shut up.

CallieO'Malley: Good.

Fieryredheadx: I hate you, you get that right?

CallieO'Malley: Yeah, I know.

* * *

Fieryredheadx: Okay, really, it's time to cut the shit.

Chicksarecrazy: Well, hello to you too.

Fieryredheadx: Who the hell are you?

Chicksarecrazy: I'm a surgeon. My dad? Pretty much out of the picture, I haven't seen my mom in about ten years. I come off as an asshole, but once you get to know me, like really get to know me, I'm not that bad. My name though, _that _I'm not going to tell you.

Fieryredheadx: That's all I get?

Chicksarecrazy: For now, yes.

Fieryredheadx: Alright.

* * *

_Blondedoctor1 has signed on_

Ilovewomen: You're back.

Blondedoctor1: Yes, I am.

Blondedoctor1: Did you love her?

Ilovewomen: Who? Addison?

Blondedoctor1: Yeah.

Ilovewomen: Yeah, I don't know, maybe… It's complicated.

Blondedoctor1: See, now you sound like a real person.

Blondedoctor1: I like this side of you.

Ilovewomen: Thanks?

Blondedoctor1: Mhm.

* * *

xxlovestequila: How's gynie?

Chicksarecrazy: Eh.

xxlovestequila: Eh? Just eh? A few weeks ago you would've gone into a full out rant about how horrible it was.

Chicksarecrazy: Things change.

xxlovestequila: Oh, really? And this has nothing to do with what Izzie mentioned the other day?

Chicksarecrazy: Shut up.

* * *

**I made this chapter a lot longer, thanks to all of you fabulous reviewers. Please continue to make me happy by leaving a review! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay for reviewers! I love you guys!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own anything. *sigh***

* * *

Thingforferryboats: I went shopping with you yesterday.

xxlovestequila: Yes, you did.

Thingforferryboats: You owe me.

xxlovestequila: HAH, nope.

Thingforferryboats: What do you mean no?!

xxlovestequila: I mean, Iamnothavingsexwithyou.

Thingforferryboats: Damnit...

* * *

xxlovestequila: I think I'm going to start knitting again.

Bloodiscandy: Oh, yeah, 'cuz that went _so_ well the first time.

xxlovestequila: It did, actually.

Bloodiscandy: Adulteress exam room sex, ring a bell?

xxlovestequila: Shut up.

Bloodiscandy: (:

* * *

CallieO'Malley: How's Karev?

Fieryredheadx: What?

CallieO'Malley: I said, _how's Karev?_

Fieryredheadx: What are you talking about?

CallieO'Malley: Why so defensive, Addison?

Fieryredheadx: I'm not being defensive! I seriously have no clue what you're talking about.

CallieO'Malley: Oh, right, so that eyesex earlier, yeah that was nothing.

Fieryredheadx: There was no eyesex, so yes, it was nothing.

CallieO'Malley: Oh, trust me, there was definitely eyesex.

Fieryredheadx: No.

CallieO'Malley: Yes.

Fieryredheadx: No.

CallieO'Malley: You might as well just give up now.

Fieryredheadx: Right. Well, I'm going to go back to being alone in my hotel room thinking of ways to kill you.

CallieO'Malley: You know that alone thing could easily be fixed, I'm sure your little intern would be over in a second…

Fieryredheadx: Callie.

CallieO'Malley: Fine, bye.

* * *

Ilovewomen: Today's my birthday.

Blondedoctor1: No it isn't.

Ilovewomen: Okay, fine it isn't, but I had this amazing fantasy of you jumping out of my birthday cake naked…

Blondedoctor1: LEAVING, NOW.

Ilovewomen: No! Izzie, wait!

_Blondedoctor1 has signed off._

* * *

Bloodiscandy: Okay, Mer, I gotta tell you something…

xxlovestequila: Okay.

Bloodiscandy: I'm getting married.

xxlovestequila: WHAT?!

Bloodiscandy: Burke. Proposed. I'm getting married.

xxlovestequila: And your telling me this over _aim_!

Bloodiscandy: Well, obviously.

xxlovestequila: Get your ass over here! Now!

* * *

Blondedoctor1: I hate Mark Sloane.

Chicksarecrazy: I hate Addison Montgomery.

Blondedoctor1: He's such an ass.

Chicksarecrazy: She's such a bitch.

Blondedoctor1: I think I might_ like_ him…

Chicksarecrazy: I think I might_ like_ her…

* * *

_Chat room 123456_

xxlovestequila: Cristina's getting married.

Bloodiscandy: Yeah, way to go! Just tell everyone!

Blondedoctor1: Omg! Yay!

Bloodiscandy: No! Barbie's in the chat room. She was _not_ supposed to find out.

Blondedoctor1: Hello! Still here.

Bloodiscandy: Right sorry, your bright and shininess must have clouded my brain.

Blondedoctor1: Ignoring that.

Chicksarecrazy: Dude, You're getting married, seriously, you?

Bloodiscandy: Shut it, Evil Spawn. Don't you have something better to do?

Chicksarecrazy: No, not really.

xxlovestequila: Who's on call?

Blondedoctor1: George.

Bloodiscandy: See, now he's the lucky one, he's probably in a blood-filled, kick ass surgery right now, Damnit that should be me.

Chicksarecrazy: Whatever.

* * *

Bloodiscandy: I am going to KILL Bambi.

xxlovestequila: ?

Bloodiscandy: Auto response from MANLYMAN: Scrubbing in, TAKE THAT, CRISTINA!

xxlovestequila: I hope he realizes how much of a mistake that was…

Bloodiscandy: He will when I pound his face.

* * *

_The next day_

_Chat room 134568_

Bloodiscandy: Why am I _never _on call?

xxlovestequila: You were two nights ago, Cristina, chill.

Bloodiscandy: How can I chill when there are surgeries going on without me!

Blondedoctor1: Don't worry, there are no surgeries.

Bloodiscandy: Right and you know this how?

Blondedoctor1: Because Alex is still stuck on gynie and he's been avoiding Dr. Montgomery as much as possible.

xxlovestequila: She's right.

Bloodiscandy: Fine, I'll chill. But I swear to god if I find out there was a surgery someone will pay.

* * *

Chicksarecrazy: I'm bored.

Fieryredheadx: I'm at work.

Chicksarecrazy: So am I.

Fieryredheadx: Shouldn't you be saving lives?

Chicksarecrazy: No. Well technically yes, but I don't know, it's complicated.

Fieryredheadx: Okay.

Chicksarecrazy: Do you want to go on a date with me?

Fieryredheadx: _What ?!_

Chicksarecrazy: A date.

Fieryredheadx: A date?

Chicksarecrazy: Yes.

Fieryredheadx: I don't even know you!

Chicksarecrazy: Oh, come on.

Fieryredheadx: Fine.

Chicksarecrazy: 8:00, the Italian restraunt down the street from the Archfield, you know the place?

Fieryredheadx: Yeah.

Chicksarecrazy: Then I'll see you there.

Fieryredheadx: Okay.

* * *

**I have fun writing Cristina. Ahaha reviews please! OH and next chapter, there will be one scene that's written like regularly, not i.m. form, since there's really no other way to write it. :D Now, go review!**

**Next chapter: Addex awkwardness! And more McStizzie next chapter, I promise (I know it was light in this one)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the wait! Major computer problems. *sigh***

**I know you're probably going to disappointed that the date really doesn't happen… but they need to grow first. Just go along with it.**

**Reviews are love.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything**

* * *

Addison walked up to the restraunt debating on whether or not she should turn around. As much as she tried to convince herself this was stupid she had still spent three hours choosing the perfect outfit and doing her hair.

When she walked in the door she felt her body crash into another and she glanced up, "Karev?"

"Addi--Dr. Montgomery."

"What are you doing here?"

"Meeting someone" He said, smiling.

"Oh my god." Addison started, "_You're_ Chicksarecrazy?!"

"Whoa… _you're_ Fieryredheadx?" Alex paused, and then added "I should've known Meredith and Derek would give me your screen name."

"Wait- _Meredith and Derek_ gave you my screen name," she shrieked.

"I'm um, I'm just gonna go." She said and then walked out, glancing back over her shoulder just long enough to catch him standing there watching her walk away. She swore at herself repeatedly under her breath for being such an idiot as she walked to her car.

* * *

Fieryredheadx: DEREK CHRISTOPHER SHEPARD!

Thingforferryboats: Addison?

Fieryredheadx: I am going to _kill_ you.

Thingforferryboats: ?

Fieryredheadx: Alex Karev, Seriously Derek, you gave _Alex Karev_ my screen name.

Thingforferryboats: Oh shit, Meredith must have copied the wrong one…

Fieryredheadx: Is this funny for you?

Thingforferryboats: Actually, it kind of is.

Fieryredheadx: I was married to you for 11 years, Derek. I know everything about you, everything. Probably more than you even think I know, thanks to your sisters and the point is, I can use that against you, whenever I want.

Thingforferryboats: You wouldn't dare…

Fieryredheadx: Oh, you'd be surprised to know what im capable of.

Thingforferryboats: Well, I think some people would be interested to know what happened that night at the park…

Fieryredheadx: No, no, no. Derek I'm warning you…

Thingforferryboats: (:

* * *

Ilovewomen: I'm sorry.

Blondedoctor1: For?

Ilovewomen: Being an ass…

Blondedoctor1: Why should I believe you?

Ilovewomen: I don't know.

Blondedoctor1: Figure it out.

* * *

Thingforferryboats: Meredith, we have a slight problem.

xxlovestequila: A slight problem?

Thingforferryboats: Okay, a big problem.

xxlovestequila: Which is…

Thingforferryboats: Addison is going to murder me, like I mean actual body-thrown-in-water murder.

xxlovestequila: Why?

Thingforferryboats: Addison's screen name may have been the fourth one down…

xxlovestequila: Oh my god! Derek are you kidding me!

Thingforferryboats: Unfortunately, no.

xxlovestequila: She's gonna kill me!

Thingforferryboats: No, no, she's after me. She already gave me the heads up.

xxlovestequila: I swear to god, Derek if anything happens to me…

* * *

_Chat room 123678_

xxlovestequila: Addison is going to kill me.

Bloodiscandy: _Mamma_ is going to kill me.

Blondedoctor1: Why is Addison going to kill you?

xxlovestequila: I may have given Alex Addison's screen name by accident. She already threatened Derek; it's just a matter of time before she comes after me.

Bloodiscandy: Oh… you're screwed.

Blondedoctor1: Cristina!

Bloodiscandy: What? It's true…

xxlovestequila: When I suddenly go missing, make sure to tell the cops to check her first.

Bloodiscandy: Yeah, whatever.

* * *

Ilovewomen: What do you know about Izzie?

Thingforferryboats: Stevens?

Ilovewomen: Yeah.

Thingforferryboats: Um, I don't know, she's blonde and perky?

Ilovewomen: And hot.

Thingforferryboats: Right. Remind me again on why I am talking to you?

Ilovewomen: Because you love me.

Thingforferryboats: Mm, well, im going to go back to hiding from Addison, goodbye.

Ilovewomen: What? Why?

Thingforferryboats: Goodbye, Mark.

* * *

Fieryredheadx: Kill me.

CallieO'Malley: Right, Karev, I heard.

Fieryredheadx: I want to hide in a ten foot hole and stay there forever.

CallieO'Malley: Oh, spare me the fake drama, Addison.

Fieryredheadx: Fake?! This is_ not_ fake.

CallieO'Malley: Think about it, if you didn't have any sort of feelings for him, you wouldn't give a shit about what happened.

Fieryredheadx: Whatever you say…

* * *

Chicksarecrazy: Addison.

Fieryredheadx: Now's not a good time…

Chicksarecrazy: I've heard this before.

Fieryredheadx: Whatever, I don't need another speech about how you're not interested.

Chicksarecrazy: I'm not giving you another speech about how I'm not interested.

Fieryredheadx: You're not?

Chicksarecrazy: No.

Fieryredheadx: Why?

Chicksarecrazy: Because then I'd be lying.

Fieryredheadx: Alex…

Chicksarecrazy: Bye.

Fieryredheadx: What!? You can't just…tell someone that and then _leave_.

Chicksarecrazy: Goodbye.

* * *

Ilovewomen: I'm not a horrible person.

Blondedoctor1: You cheated on Addison. She threw her marriage away for you and you just…cheated on her.

Ilovewomen: And until everyone knows the whole story I'm the bad guy. It's not fair.

Blondedoctor1: What do you mean?

Ilovewomen: She aborted my baby.

Blondedoctor1: She did _what_?!

Ilovewomen: Look, it's not important.

Blondedoctor1: Does it hurt…that she did that?

Ilovewomen: I would've made a terrible father.

Blondedoctor1: You don't know that.

Ilovewomen: I do...

Blondedoctor1: Well, for what it's worth, I don't think you're a horrible person.

* * *

**Reviews? Please? Ha, I love the addek friendship. I promise there will be lot's of addexness soon. Next chapter there will be a Meredith/Addie conversation, but not fighting, I actually like the idea of them as friends. If anyone has any like requests or anything for conversations, let me know.**


	6. Chapter 6

Um, yeah. My computer officially died. Like for good, unable-to-be-fixed-died. So I'm on my dad's… even though he'd kill me if he knew I was.

So I think you owe me serious reviews for this,

Sneaking on here-because um, yeah.

OH, thanks to McMuffin for some of the ideas. :D

Disclaimer- I seriously wish I owned- but I don't.

* * *

Fieryredheadx: Meredith.

xxlovestequila: Dr. Montgomery?

Fieryredheadx: It's Addison.

xxlovestequila: Right, um.. Addison.

_[At the same time]_

_xxlovestequila: Your freaking murderer ex-wife i. me!_

_thingforferryboats: Oh, have fun!_

_xxlovestequila: No! Damnit, Derek!_

_thingforferryboats: Sorry, gotta go, surgery._

_xxlovestequila: You are definitely not getting any now!_

Fieryredheadx: I'm not going to hurt you.

xxlovestequila: Your not?

Fieryredheadx: I'm not.

xxlovestequila: Oh, thank god.

Fieryredheadx: With Derek, I don't make any promises… but with you- I do, because I don't hate you.

xxlovestequila: But you hate Derek.

Fieryredheadx: Indeed.

xxlovestequila: I thought you were going to give me my death warning.

Fieryredheadx: Nope. I just wanted to let you know that I hate Derek. And I've known him way longer than you, which means I know more than you, more _embarrassing_ things. And I know that Derek always pissed me off, which means he probably pisses you off…

xxlovestequila: What are you saying?

Fieryredheadx: Blackmail, Meredith. I'm talking about sweet, sweet blackmail.

xxlovestequila: I like the way you think.

Fieryredheadx: I knew you would.

* * *

_Chat room 12468_

Blondedoctor1: Hey, Mer I heard you talked to Addison.

Bloodiscandy: You _WHAT?_

xxlovestequila: Chill, Cristina. She's nice I like her.

Bloodiscandy: Who are you and what the hell have you done to Meredith?

xxlovestequila: Cristina, stop she's not as bad as you think.

Bloodiscandy: She's going to put you under her spell- just like she did to McDreamy and McSteamy.

xxlovestequila: Cristina.

Bloodiscandy: Voodoo, Meredith, freaking voodoo.

xxlovestequila: Your crazy…

Bloodiscandy: Oh you say that now, but when you're sitting in her secret chamber of death a month from now begging for your life- I don't want to hear about it.

* * *

CallieO'Malley: I'm coming up to your room.

Fieryredheadx: No you don't want to do that..

CallieO'Malley: Oh, god Addison I thought the sex with Mark was over.. oh my god, is your intern up there!

Fieryredheadx: No! There is no Mark or Alex, just embarrassing pictures of Derek… covering the floor and the bed.

CallieO'Malley: ?

Fieryredheadx: They're for Meredith.

CallieO'Malley: _Grey?!_

Fieryredheadx: Calm down.

CallieO'Malley: Did Mark drug you?!

Fieryredheadx: Callie, focus, Mark was never here.

CallieO'Malley: You've officially lost it, Addison.

* * *

_At work_

_Chat room 12421_

Blondedoctor1: I hate work.

Chicksarecrazy: At least you're not stuck on the vagina squad.

Bloodiscandy: Shut up Alex, we know you love it.

xxlovestequila: I hate the pit.

Bloodiscandy: Am I the only one who's not miserable? I got surgeries, lot's of bloody, bloody surgeries.

Blondedoctor1: Bitch.

DoctorBailey: You people are unbelievable! You're supposed to be _working_, this is a hospital, there are patients that _need _your help!

xxlovestequila: Sorry Dr. Bailey.

Bloodiscandy: Yeah, sorry.

DoctorBailey: You better get back to work before I find you- trust me if I do, it won't be pretty.

* * *

_Later_

Ilovewomen: Go out with me.

Blondedoctor1: I'm not having sex with you.

Ilovewomen: I didn't ask you to have sex with me.

Blondedoctor1: You implied it.

Ilovewomen: No.

Blondedoctor1: Yes.

Ilovewomen: Please.

Blondedoctor1: I'll think about it.

* * *

Bloodiscandy: I can't believe you!

xxlovestequila: Cristina.

Bloodiscandy: No, no 'Cristina' ing me.

xxlovestequila: She's not evil.

Bloodiscandy: That's just what she wants you to think.

xxlovestequila: Why do you hate her so much?

Bloodiscandy: She's Satan, Meredith. McExWife- Mc came in and made your life miserable so that _I_ had to hear about it.

xxlovestequila: It wasn't that bad.

Bloodiscandy: You spent the first month sitting next to the toilet.

xxlovestequila: Blame tequila.

Bloodiscandy: Blame Addison.

xxlovestequila: No.

Bloodiscandy: Fine. Whatever.

* * *

Chicksarecrazy: I'm not good at relationships.

Fieryredheadx: Okay.

Chicksarecrazy: Okay?

Fieryredheadx: 847

Chicksarecrazy: What's that?

Fieryredheadx: My room number.

Chicksarecrazy: Ten Minutes.

Fieryredheadx: Kay.

* * *

_Chat room 21600_

Blondedoctor1: Where the hell is Alex?! I've been calling him for ten minutes.

xxlovestequila: No clue.

Blondedoctor1: Oh, he answered. I dont think he knows he did though... it sounds like he's with someone.

Bloodiscandy: Isn't he always?

Blondedoctor1: The voice is familiar.. but I can't tell who...

xxlovestequila: Link me.

Bloodiscandy: Me too.

Blondedoctor1: Okay, it's linked.

Bloodiscandy: Oh my god! Izzie! It's like listening to a porno!

xxlovestequila: All I hear is 'Alex! Yes!'

Bloodiscandy: OH MY GOD.

Blondedoctor1: What?

xxlovestequila: Oh my god... did you hear that?

Bloodiscandy: YES!

Blondedoctor1: Hear _what_!

xxlovestequila: He moaned 'Addison'

Blondedoctor1: No...are you sure?

Bloodiscandy: Yes, we're sure.

Blondedoctor1: Oh my god...

* * *

Blondedoctor1: Fine, I'll go out with you.

Ilovewomen: Seriously?

Blondedoctor1: Don't screw up.

Ilovewomen: Okay.

* * *

Yeah, reviews make me sneak on here again.

Bye(:


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to the reviewers! I love you guys(:**

**Disclaimer- I don't own… sadly.. **

* * *

_Chat room 56788_

Blondedoctor1: Alex...

xxlovestequila: Is there something you want to tell us?

Chicksarecrazy: About what?

Blondedoctor1: I don't know… anything… new going on in your life?

Chicksarecrazy: Okay what the hell are you talking about?

Blondedoctor1: Nothing, nothing at all.

* * *

CallieO'Malley: Okay, we need to talk.

Fieryredheadx: About?

CallieO'Malley: Something I heard.

Fieryredheadx: From?

CallieO'Malley: George... who heard it from Izzie, who apparently heard it for her self which is really disturbing but whatever.

Fieryredheadx: Callie, what are you talking about?

CallieO'Malley: Alex_ probably _shouldn't have left his phone in his pocket last night.

Fieryredheadx: Oh my god…

* * *

Ilovewomen: Addison is going to kill you, you do realize that right?

Blondedoctor1: Why?

Ilovewomen: Um, telling everyone in the hospital about _last night_ probably wasn't such a great idea.

Blondedoctor1: Whatever, telling me someone is going to kill me, not exactly a great way of trying to get in my pants.

Ilovewomen: I told you, I'm not trying to get in your pants.

Blondedoctor1: Uhuh, sure.

* * *

Bloodiscandy: Meredith

_Auto response from xxlovestequila: Addison's, bye._

Bloodiscandy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

Bloodiscandy: You're seriously over at Satan's.

Bloodiscandy: Seriously!

* * *

Ilovewomen: Are you aware of the fact that your girlfriend is currently hanging out with your ex wife?

Thingforferryboats: They're _what_?!

Ilovewomen: Hanging out.

Thingforferryboats: Wait like… together?

Ilovewomen: Yes, Derek, together.

Thingforferryboats: Holy shit...

* * *

Thingforferryboats: Addison, what the hell do you think you're doing!?

Fieryredheadx: We're friends, Derek.

Thingforferryboats: You and Meredith can _not _be friends.

Fieryredheadx: Why?

Thingforferryboats: Because! You're my ex wife, and she's my girlfriend, it's just not right.

Fieryredheadx: Not everything is about you, Derek.

Thingforferryboats: Addison I swear to god if you do anything to her…

Fieryredheadx: Derek, Meredith and I are friends, get over it.

* * *

Ilovewomen: What are you doing tonight?

Blondedoctor1: Nothing.

Ilovewomen: Wrong, you're going to dinner with me.

Blondedoctor1: Oh I am?

Ilovewomen: Yes.

Blondedoctor1: Fine.

* * *

Chicksarecrazy: Addison

Fieryredheadx: Alex

Chicksarecrazy: What are you doing?

Fieryredheadx: I'm with Meredith.

Chicksarecrazy: You're _what_!? Never mind, not important. Am I coming over tonight?

Fieryredheadx: Do you want to come over tonight?

Chicksarecrazy: Well… duh.

Fieryredheadx: Then yes.

* * *

_That night_

Bloodiscandy: Where's Barbie?

xxlovestequila: I have no clue.

Bloodiscandy: The only people not online are Satan, Evil Spawn, McSteamy and Barbie.

xxlovestequila: Well, we know what Addison and Alex are doing…

Bloodiscandy: Satan and Evil Spawn! Awwww!

xxlovestequila: Be nice.

Bloodiscandy: You don't think Barbie's with McSteamy?

xxlovestequila: No… no, definitely not.

Bloodiscandy: Oh my god! They'd be like Barbie and Ken!

xxlovestequila: You are so weird.

Bloodiscandy: Nope, just funny, I am freaking hilarious.

xxlovestequila: Oh, definitely.

* * *

xxlovestequila: Derek.

Thingforferryboats: Meredith.

xxlovestequila: Where's Mark?

Thingforferryboats: I can't tell you

xxlovestequila: Why?

Thingforferryboats: I promised, sorry.

xxlovestequila: What do you want?

Thingforferryboats: Oh, you know what I want.

xxlovestequila: Derek i am _not_ having sex with you.

Thingforferryboats: Then I guess you don't need to know where Mark is.

xxlovestequila: Ugh, fine!

Thingforferryboats: He's with Izzie.

xxlovestequila: I knew it!

* * *

CallieO'Malley: Okay, so details, hows the sex?

Fieryredheadx: Callie!

CallieO'Malley: Spill, you filthy, dirty woman!

Fieryredheadx: Um, excuse me!

CallieO'Malley: But you're incredibly hot! So it's okay.

Fieryredheadx: Right.

CallieO'Malley: So the sex...

Fieryredheadx: Is amazing.

CallieO'Malley: Better than Mark?

Fieryredheadx: Better than Mark.

CallieO'Malley: Is that even possible?

MANLYMAN: Hello! I'm still here!

CallieO'Malley: Oh shit! I forgot!

Fieryredheadx: Oh my god, how long has he been here?

MANLYMAN: The whole time.

Fieryredheadx: Callie I am going to _kill _you.

CallieO'Malley: Bye!

* * *

Bloodiscandy: Meredith! Did you find out where Barbie was?

_Auto response from xxlovestequila: Sorry Cristina, Derek and I are having hot sex right now so leave a message._

Bloodiscandy: Oh, I so did _not _need to hear that!

Bloodiscandy: Whoa, wait, 'Cristina', how'd you know I was going to i.m. you?!

Bloodiscandy: Meredith!!

* * *

Reviews, please (:

* * *


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